


Don't Split the Party

by likesomeoneinlove



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, Dungeons & Dragons Campaign, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, M/M, Rating will change, Slow-ish burn, dm tsumugi, thats it thats the fic, they play dnd together
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-18 23:28:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22134898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likesomeoneinlove/pseuds/likesomeoneinlove
Summary: Let it go, let it roll; don't give up now, no, don't ever quit!There's always a chance for a critical hit!-In which Shuichi has to remind himself they're just playing characters, and Kokichi could stand to fail more of his charisma checks.
Relationships: Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi, background Akamatsu Kaede/Iruma Miu, background Momota Kaito/Harukawa Maki - Relationship
Comments: 10
Kudos: 90





	1. Player's Handbook

**Author's Note:**

> just something i'm writing for fun over break :) lyrics in the summary are from critical hit by ghost mice. this is loosely based on my experience playing d&d with my friends, because d&d makes me happy. also, if you're wondering, i usually dm :) not sure how long this is gonna be but hey i'm just here for the ride

Shuichi came to the conclusion long ago that true suffering existed only at each vertex of a twenty-sided die.

The d20 rolled out of his hand, landing with a _clank_ on the table in front of him. He leaned forward, fists clenched at his side, forcing himself to behold whatever miserable fate Lady Luck had condemned him to this time. He blinked once, then twice, trying to process what he was seeing.

Well.

Tsumugi held her gaze on him expectantly, chin resting on her open palm. "And? What did you roll?" The hand-painted dragon figurine, placed on the side of the game board closest to their dungeon master, stared at Shuichi with beady black eyes, almost as if taunting him.

"That's a crit fail."

Silence. Everyone's eyes on him. He speedran through all five stages of grief.

Then, Miu broke out into a grin and chanted, "T-P-K! T-P-K!"

The silence fell away, reactions around the table ranging from disappointment to amusement to disbelief. At least they weren't all staring at him anymore.

Kaito groaned. "This sucks _so_ much ass. I mean, I already have another character ready in case I die, but it's still gonna blow getting this far and ending the campaign with a total party kill."

"Uh," Kaede cut in with a hand on Kaito's shoulder, "don't worry! None of us have to die if we retreat."

"Like hell!" Miu retorted, banging her fist on the table so hard the row of dice in front of her character sheet shook. "This is, like, the final boss, right? You guys really wanna pussy out _now_?"

Maki crossed her arms after rearranging her set of black dice—which were disturbed during Miu's outburst—so they sat in a straight line again. "Miu, I know you've been set on that legendary hoard since the beginning of the campaign, but you can't really do much with it if you're dead.

Miu paused for a moment, as if contemplating what Maki just said, then responded with, "Fuck it. I'd rather die rich than live poor. Bury me in this asshole's mountain of gold."

"Uh, relax, everyone," said Tsumugi. "I still have to roll damage. He _could_ survive."

"Doubt it," Miu said under her breath.

Shuichi buried his face in his hands, the agonizing sound of each d6 hitting the table nothing but pure torture. One, two, three... all the way up to eighteen. "I'm dead," Shuichi said before Tsumugi could even read out the results. "I only have 20 HP left."

"Well, I definitely rolled higher than that."

Kaito placed a hand on his temple. "Someone's gotta carry his body out of the dungeon before the rest of us get our asses handed to us. Kaede, your turn is next. Maybe you could cast Cure Wounds?"

Kaede shook her head. "I have a plan. Don't worry, everyone. I've basically been carrying the party from the beginning through situations like these, so naturally, I was prepared for a fuck up as massive as this one." She said the words in a flat tone, free of the sarcasm Shuichi felt they all deserved for everything that they'd gotten themselves into over the course of the campaign.

"Alright, Kaede, it's your turn," said Tsumugi.

Kaede took a deep breath, rolling her d20 back and forth between her fingers. "I cast Teleport. I'm going to take the party back to the Red Sage's keep. The spell targets a maximum of 8 creatures, and they have to be willing to come." At the last statement, she looked pointedly at Miu from across the table.

"Ugh, fine," Miu conceded, leaning back in her chair with her hands behind her head. 

"Basically," Kaede continued, "Tsumugi has to roll a d100 to see if we end up there. It's a pretty familiar place to my character, so as long as she rolls above a 25 we'll be fine."

"Ooh, how exciting," said Tsumugi. "You reach into your satchel for some spell chalk to cast the sigil. As quickly as you can manage, you sketch it out, starting to focus all your energy into manifesting the conjuration. However, as you do, the chamber you're in begins to rumble, the earth shaking beneath your feet. You, and everyone else in the party, catch the faint smell of sulfur and smoke on the warm, volcanic wind. Down the tunnel to your left, everyone sees a bright, orange light spilling through cracks in the wall."

"The volcano's erupting," Kaito deadpanned. He grabbed Kaede by the shoulder and gave her a light shake. "Hurry up, Kaede!"

"I'm _trying_!"

Tsumugi cleared her throat. "As I was saying: the entire room begins to crumble around you, boulders falling from the ceiling. It's a miracle, but none of you have been crushed yet. Through cracks in the ceiling, you catch traces of the same orange light. The chamber you're in starts to get hotter and hotter until it's nearly unbearable, and the air is so saturated with smoke it won't be long until you suffocate." She paused to roll her d10 and percentile die. Shuichi all but held his breath, staring at his pile of dice to avoid having to meet anyone's eyes. "Luckily, Kaede, in a flash of magical energy fueled by some sort of divine bardic inspiration, a spark emits from your hands, and the chalk you used to draw the sigil glows with blinding purple light. Quickly, you gather everyone inside, and the light from the sigil surrounds the party in the shape of a wall. The circle raises you all up above the ground, starting to spin faster and faster until you blink out of this plane of existence."

Kaede covered her face with her hands, like she couldn't even bring herself to look at the game board. "And then what happens?" she asked, evidently trying to conceal the panic in her voice. "Where do we end up?"

"Hmm," Tsumugi hummed, placing her pointer finger on her chin as if deep in thought. After a moment, she continued with, "When you come to, you're all standing in the keep of the Red Sage."

Shuichi sighed, slumping back in his chair; everyone else at the table gave similar expressions of relief. Kaito looked like he might've been about to cry. When Shuichi sat back up, he looked around the table and asked, "Uh, can someone heal me now?"

"Oh, yeah, I cast Cure Wounds," said Kaede, rolling her d8. "You get 5 HP. Not much, but at least you're conscious."

"Well," Maki said, "we're still alive."

Tsumugi removed the dragon figurine from the game board and set the party's miniatures off to the side. "So, you've returned to the keep of the Red Mage after a long and perilous journey. You see them, clothed in their seer's finery, hovering over what looks to be a crystal ball. As you take a closer look, you see that projected on the surface of the crystal ball is an image of the erupting Mount Illustria. You suddenly feel odd, finding it necessary to count your blessings, as you begin to realize you were mere moments away from perishing inside the depths of that very volcano. As you approach them, the Red Mage turns around, noticing your presence. _You've done it_ , they say in disbelief. _The volcano erupted, and the Heart Chamber collapsed, killing the Insatiable and destroying his cursed hoard. In the time it took you to get back here, the Kingdom sent excavators to search through the wreckage; they found the corpse of the Insatiable. You've saved us all, and your names will be remembered as long as civilization stands._ And upon hearing these words, you realize that you really _have_ done it. Although perhaps unintentionally, or, at least, not as intentionally as you would've liked, you've all ushered in a new era of peace for the Kingdom. You are the heroes of the realm, and a life of contentment and glory awaits you."

A beat passed as everyone processed what Tsumugi just said. Then, the table broke out into cheers.

"We did it, man!" Kaito said with a nudge to Shuichi's arm, turning to give him a slap on the back. Shuichi flinched and gave a thumbs up; he couldn't stop the smile from involuntarily spreading across his face.

"Huh, I can't believe we won the campaign by running away," said Miu. "Maybe bards really are good for something after all."

Kaede laughed, expression one of pure joy; like Shuichi, she couldn't stop smiling. "I can't really believe it either."

Maki drummed her fingers on the edge of the table. Even she had the ghost of a smile pulling at her lips. "Well, technically, _we_ didn't do anything." She cast her eyes towards the ceiling in thought with a soft hum. "But I'm not going to complain if everyone wants to pin the whole thing on us."

"And, if you think about it, it's all because Shuichi fucked up that last saving throw," Miu said. "Otherwise, Kaede wouldn't have had to force the rest of us to pussy out."

"Uh, well," said Shuichi, "if you wanna give me the credit, then sure."

They chatted amongst themselves like that for a while before Tsumugi broke in to get their attention again. "Now," she said, "it's time for the epilogue of sorts. We'll start with Twinleaf." Looking at Kaede, whose hands were folded and pressed close against her chest, she continued, "You make your triumphant return to your home settlement of Sylvanus. You're greeted with nothing but praise for the efforts of you and the rest of your party. Finally, you meet with your mother and father. You can see tears of pride welling in their eyes. _Twinleaf_ , says your mother, _I'm sorry we ever doubted you. You'll no longer be confined to elven tradition. We've realized that it's not your path. Go out and live your dreams with our blessing._ And then, the two of them embrace you. Eventually, you leave the Home Tree and become the most legendary bard in all the land. You're used to being the one singing songs about heroes, but now, you've become that hero, and songs will be written in your honor for generations." After letting Kaede process it all, she turned to Kaito. "Now for Lux. You return to your home, your guild, and are greeted with similar expressions of wonder..."

Tsumugi went on like that until she'd covered all of their characters. When she finished, Shuichi found himself satisfied despite the strange emptiness which had settled in his chest. He was still internally working through the fact that their campaign had just ended right in front of his eyes, but the fact was tempered by the unspoken promise of a new adventure just around the corner.

"So," said Tsumugi, folding up her DM screen, "it's been a pleasure playing with you all. We're still going to be meeting at the same time next week. I'll email everyone the intro to the new campaign, alright? Oh, and if anyone has any questions, feel free to text me or the group chat." With that, she waved goodbye to all of them, and they left her apartment.

Once they were outside in the November cold, Shuichi checked the time on his phone. 3 in the morning.

"You guys wanna go get Denny's?"

-

Shuichi woke up at 2:30 in the afternoon with a stomach full of waffles and maple syrup. Groaning, he rolled over on his side when he heard his phone buzz.

**dungeons and dumbasses**

**luminaryofthestars:** heyyyyyy I just got off work, you guys wanna meet me at the game shop and go hang out or sumn?

 **kaegay:** Sure! :-) I'm not busy this afternoon. What did you have in mind?

 **luminaryofthestars:** I know I work there, but we can totally just look around and stuff

 **luminaryofthestars:** I think that would be fun

 **harumaki:** I'll come.

 **cockandballtorture:** hehe yaaaaaaa im down, you guys get any new shit?

 **luminaryofthestars:** yeahhhhhhhh we got some dice! also some Eberron stuff so if tsumugi says it's okay then you can play an artificer this time

 **cockandballtorture:** SWEEEEEEEET

 **craftkitty:** ya of course! (=^ ◡ ^=) i know what i'm doing a little bit more now so i think i can handle an artificer! (=⌒‿‿⌒=)

 **Me:** I literally just woke up but yeah I'll be there

 **cockandballtorture:** very epic and sexy of you

 **kaegay:** See you there! <3

-

The wind chimes attached to the door rattled as Shuichi entered the game shop. He saw Kaito standing in front of the counter off to the side, thumbing through a copy of _Volo's Guide to Monsters_. As soon as the door closed, Kaito looked up from the book with a smile and raised his hand in greeting. "Hey dude. Get enough sleep?"

Shuichi made a noise of dampened agony.

"Yeah, me too," said Kaito. "Everyone else is looking at game stuff over there." He gestured over to the Dungeons and Dragons aisle, where the girls were keeping themselves busy. Miu dug almost obsessively through the bins of assorted dice, probably trying to cobble together a matching set; Kaede and Tsumugi looked through a copy of _Xanathar's Guide to Everything_ together, with Tsumugi stopping to point something out to Kaede every once in a while; and Maki stood off to the side, arms crossed as she studied the shelves of miniatures on the other side of the aisle.

Shuichi moved to join the others, but stopped when he heard the door to the game shop open again. A boy looking to be about their age walked in; he had unruly, dark purple hair, and was dressed kind of strangely, Shuichi thought, in all white and big, chunky platform boots. Upon a closer look, Shuichi could see he'd drawn harlequin-like triangles over his eyes with blue eyeshadow. He walked straight over to the D&D aisle, not paying the two of them any attention.

"Oh," Kaito said, giving Shuichi a small nudge to his side, "that kid comes in here a lot. I've rung him up a few times. He's only ever bought dice, and whenever he comes in here, he just spends all his time looking through the dice bins." He closed the copy of _Volo's Guide to Monsters_ and set it down on the counter. "I think he might be another dice gremlin like Miu."

Before Shuichi could say anything in response, he heard a screech from Miu. "Um?" he said to Kaito.

Kaito sighed. "Yeah."

The two of them walked over to join the others; everyone's eyes were glued to the scene unfolding before them except Maki, who was still looking at the miniatures. Miu and the new kid were standing over the dice bins, with the new kid holding a light pink—evidently rose quartz inspired—d6 decorated by cracks of gold detailing. The expression on Miu's face, horrifyingly enough, could only be described as orgasmic, with her cheeks dyed a bright shade of red, eyebrows drawn together in pleasure, and drool dripping steadily out of her mouth. " _Please_ ," she nearly moaned, "you _have_ to let me have that. I've been trying to complete my set for _months_! I'll do _anything_ for it. How does oral sound?"

Tsumugi made a choked noise. " _Miu_!"

The new kid, however, didn't look phased by Miu's proposition. "Sounds tempting," he drawled, "but I'm not into chicks, and even if I was, you wouldn't be my type." He let out a tiny laugh and gave her what Shuichi could only pin as a shit-eating grin. The kid tossed the die up into the air over and over again, with Miu's eyes closely trailing its path. "By the way, are you guys playing together, or something? I've been looking to join a campaign for a while now."

"Oh, um, yes!" said Tsumugi, rushing to put the book she and Kaede had been looking through back in its place on the shelf. "We're actually just about to start a new campaign at the end of the week. You can totally join, if you want! I DM and make all the miniatures and stuff, so, um, yeah!" She paused to smooth out her skirt. "Oh, and I'm really sorry about Miu. She just, um, really likes dice. I'm Tsumugi, by the way. These are Miu, Kaede, Maki, Shuichi, and Kaito." She pointed at each of them, respectively.

"Kokichi," said the new kid. "Nice to meet you." He tossed the d6 in Miu's direction, and she jerked forward, catching it between her teeth. "Uh... anyways, I've never played before. You sure that's alright?"

"Oh, totally! You should probably start out with a _Player's Handbook_ , though." She took a moment to rifle through her bag, then looked back up once she'd retrieved the book in question. "Here, I know they're kinda expensive, so you can borrow mine." She handed the book over to Kokichi. "Oh, but there are more races and subclasses and stuff than just what's in the _PHB_. I have all the supplemental books lying around at home, so if you wanna play anything that's not in the _PHB_ I have you covered."

"Should we add him to the group chat?" asked Kaede.

"Oh, yeah, of course!" Tsumugi handed Kokichi her phone and said, "Just put in your Instagram."

He nodded, and handed her back her phone once he'd done so. Shuichi reached into his pocket and checked his own phone for the notification.

 **_craftkitty_ ** _added **kinghorse666** to **dungeons and dumbasses**_

"Perfect!" said Tsumugi, clasping her hands together. "Kaito's off work right now, so if you want, we can even talk about your character right now. Oh, and the info for the new campaign is all on Google Docs, so I'll need your email, too. Just send it in the group chat when you can and I'll get it shared with you."

"We should talk about what classes we all wanna play so the party's balanced," Kaede chimed in. "I think I'd be happy playing a bard again this time, but I kinda wanna try something new if I'm being honest. Tsumugi, how do you feel about me playing a cleric this time?"

"That would be perfect. You like playing support classes, right? Being a cleric would certainly make you a lot better at healing, which we had a problem with last time since Shuichi's cleric kept on getting dropped."

"I did kind of have to pick up the slack," Kaede said with a smirk in his direction.

"Okay, but I totally won the campaign for us, remember?" Shuichi grinned back at her.

As Tsumugi, Kokichi, Kaito, and Kaede discussed the party dynamics (with Maki still hanging off to the side but jumping in every once in a while), Shuichi felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

_Conversation with **kinghorse666**_

**kinghorse666:** heya :^)

 **kinghorse666:** how do you feel about my character falling unconditionally and irrevocably in love with yours?

Well. Already, this was shaping up to be a long campaign.


	2. Initiative

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they actually start playing the game lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you've never played dnd before then tsumugi probably sounds like a fucking crackhead but just trust me, it's all standard dm behavior lol

_Conversation with **kinghorse666**_

**Me:** Uh, I'll think about it?

**Me:**...Also, were you quoting Twilight?

**kinghorse666:** hehe just kidding :p

**kinghorse666:** and ya duh. i see you're a man of culture such as myself

**kinghorse666:** i do think our characters should know each other tho cause ive never played

**Me:** We're in the same room, you can literally talk to me about it right here

"So basically," said Tsumugi after getting Kokichi's attention, "the campaign is going to take place in the same kingdom that the last one did. Since the party defeated the Insatiable—oh, uh, he was a giant red dragon; basically like Smaug or Fafnir, with a giant horde of cursed gold and zombie minions—the period of relative peace kind of fell apart since there was no big enemy for everyone to unite against, and now the east and west are in a civil war." Tsumugi paused to pull a notebook out of her bag, flipping through the pages until she found what Shuichi assumed were her notes for the upcoming campaign. "The east is the Ostrilund Federation, and their main goal is limiting the use of magic and imprisoning magic users to prevent any misuse of power. The west is the Vestrilund Protectorate, and they're on the defensive against the Federation."

To his credit, Kokichi looked like he was keeping up with Tsumugi's rapid fire exposition pretty well, only pausing a few times to ask for clarification. In the background, Miu and Kaede both worked on filling out their character sheets, while Kaito and Maki looked through a copy of _Volo's Guide to Monsters_ and talked amongst themselves.

Tsumugi finished her explanation with, "So, you guys are gonna start the campaign in the Protectorate. You're all hired mercenaries who are gonna be sent to fight the against the Federation, and, uh, carry out spy missions and stuff. Things like that. A good starting point for your character would be deciding how they got to where they are now."

"Hmm, alright," said Kokichi after a moment, poising his thumb against his bottom lip. "I think Shuichi and I were gonna collaborate on our backstories. Right, Shuichi?" Kokichi turned to face him with a slight grin.

"Uh, yeah," Shuichi agreed, shrugging his backpack off his shoulders. "We should probably talk about backstory stuff away from everyone else, just so they don't get spoilers."

Tsumugi nodded. As the two of them walked back towards the front of the game shop, she called out, "Oh, but tell me what you come up with when you finish! Just so I can work everyone's backstories into the campaign."

Setting his backpack down against the leg of the table flanking the entrance to the game shop, Shuichi took a seat across from Kokichi. After a few seconds of awkward silence in which Kokichi made no effort to relieve the tension between them, Shuichi finally got ahold of himself and fished two character sheets and two pencils out of his backpack. He handed one of each to Kokichi, then cleared his throat. "Um, so, where should we start? Do you have any ideas for what you want your character to be?"

Kokichi hummed softly. "I was thinking of making a changeling rogue," he said, "with the Haunted One background. Spooky, huh?"

Shuichi nodded. "Sounds cool. I've never played with a changeling before, so that should be fun. I played a cleric last time, but Kaede was talking about wanting to play one in this campaign, so I'll probably end up playing something else. I don't know what yet, though."

"How about a warlock or a wizard?" Kokichi suggested. "There's that fun plotline in Tsumugi's worldbuilding where the east is trying to imprison all the spellcasters. My character could be working for the east and trying to assassinate you, or something. _Drama_. _Panache_." At this, he gave a little wave of his hands for dramatic effect.

"But maybe they only met a little while beforehand, so my character doesn't know that," Shuichi said, scribbling some notes down onto his character sheet. He had to admit, he liked where the conversation was going. Nothing got him excited for a session of Dungeons and Dragons quite like plotting out character backstories.

"Hmm, what about races?" Kokichi leaned his head to the side, resting his chin on his open palm. "You strike me as fitting with a kalashtar. Ooh, or maybe an aasmiar? Think of all the narrative possibilities." A beat passed in which Shuichi thought on his statement, trying to ignore Kokichi's implied psychoanalysis of him; suddenly, Kokichi interrupted his thoughts by sitting up straight in his chair, leaning forward with his elbows on the table. "You could play a kalashtar warlock whose patron is the Great Old One. Papa Cthulhu specializes in that weird psychic stuff, right? That'd be perfect."

Huh. That was actually pretty interesting. After giving it some thought, Shuichi decided, "I like that idea." After writing down some of the details Kokichi had suggested on his character sheet, he asked, "Are you sure you've never played before? You seem to know a lot."

"Nah, I was totally lying about that," said Kokichi, starting to fill out his character sheet, "but not, like, _outright_ lying or anything. I've played once before, but it was a long time ago, so I don't count it. I read up a lot on the game when I'm bored and pretending like I don't push people away and actually have friends to play tabletop RPGs with."

Shuichi gave a small, nervous laugh. "Right. I think I'm actually gonna pick the Haunted One background, too."

"Ooh, what level of friendship do I have to be on with you before I can unlock your tragic past?" Kokichi grinned, pressing his thumb up against his bottom lip, then let out a slight laugh. "Not very self-aware of you to deal with your trauma by shoving it into a pretty vessel so you can finally get the chance to live out your fantasy of being heroic."

Shuichi blinked. "Uh—"

"No worries; all in jest," said Kokichi, going back to filling out his character sheet as if he hadn't said anything at all. "We're all just LARPing all the time anyways, right?"

"Um... right."

Shuichi just went back to his character sheet and tried to pretend this had been a normal conversation.

-

**dungeons and dumbasses**

**craftkitty:** hey everyone! ฅ(•ㅅ•❀)ฅ i just finished painting everyone's miniatures! everyone can still come at 8, right? (＾• ω •＾)

**harumaki:** I'll be there. I have to pick up Kaito so I might be a little late.

**luminaryofthestars:** ^ what she said

**Me:** I'm good

**kaegay:** Miu and I are on our way! <3

**cockandballtorture:** OwO

**kinghorse666:** yuh

**luminaryofthestars:** yee yee

**kaegay:** Yeet? :-)

**cockandballtorture:** yeetus in my cleetus, if you will

**kinghorse666:** hot

**harumaki:** Please stop.

-

"Tsumugi!" Miu shouted, practically jamming the doorbell over and over again with her pointer finger, objectively far more than necessary, to get their DM's attention. "Hurry up! It's so cold out here, my nipples are hard!"

"Should've brought a jacket," said Kokichi, sticking out his tongue and pulling down on his undereye with an index finger. Like the day they'd first met, he was wearing his clown eyeshadow and platform boots. "Besides, I thought hoes never got cold?"

"Urban legend," Miu retorted with a pout. Shivering, she crossed her arms over her chest protectively.

Finally, a muffled answer of "Coming!" came from inside the apartment, accompanied by the sound of something falling over.

Before Tsumugi could answer the door, Shuichi heard a voice sound off from behind them. "Hey! What's up?" He turned around to see Kaito and Maki, dice and handbooks in tow, approaching the rest of them. "We're not too late, are we?"

Kaede shook her head, pulling her scarf up so it covered her nose. "No, you're fine. We just got here, and Tsumugi hasn't even let us in yet."

" _Dooope_ ," said Kaito, resting his hands behind his head.

After a few more seconds of things crashing inside the apartment, the door swung open to reveal a pristine Tsumugi, hair perfectly arranged in a braid crown and makeup immaculate. "Hello everyone!" she said. "Sorry about the wait. I couldn't find a few of my miniatures and had to turn the place upside down before I could let anyone in." She gave a smile, her face going a soft shade of pink. "You're all welcome to come in. Just watch your step."

While it wasn't in as clean a shape as it was the last time they'd been there, the apartment wasn't as messy as Tsumugi had made it out to be; there were a few rolls of fabric and thread strewn about the floor, but other than that, nothing seemed too out of place. The living room table where they usually played, of course, was perfectly organized, with the game board and game books set up in front of Tsumugi's DM screen. Tsumugi's place was marked at the end of the table by the screen, as well as the red velvet chair she always sat in; the rest of them were relegated to what Tsumugi called the "peasant chairs". Shuichi took his usual seat at the table directly to the left of Tsumugi; Kokichi settled into the chair next to his.

Once everyone had taken their seats and sorted their things to their liking, Tsumugi opened up her laptop behind her DM screen and cracked her knuckles. "Are we ready to begin?" she asked, looking from face to face around the table.

"I think we're ready," Shuichi told her for the rest of the group, giving her a thumbs up.

"Alright then." Tsumugi typed something into her laptop, made a few clicks, and the room was filled with the [light, spritely music of a glockenspiel](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8S94Bmk8KRA). "It has been only a moment since you've visited the Kingdom of Lundheim, but in that moment, much has changed. The unsteady peace in the kingdom brought on by the fight against the Insatiable has all but shattered upon his demise; now, chaos and bloodshed reign once more, but this time, propagated by mortal hands. Lundheim is in the throes of a civil war: the Ostrilund Federation in the east pushes against the Vestrilund Protectorate in the west, fighting to take their land and unify the kingdom under their own rule. You, young adventurers, have been hired as mercenaries by the Protectorate in order to infiltrate the Federation and destroy them from within." Tsumugi paused to let the music fade out. "We begin in the town of Sutgard, in a tavern known as the Rusty Flagon. It is a small town in Vestrilund territory, near the border between the two factions. The tavern is nearly empty, as it is midday; nearly empty, that is, save for two figures sitting at a table." She turned to Shuichi and Kokichi. "If you two would please describe your characters to the others."

"I'll go first," said Kokichi after a short silence, starting to stack his dice on the table in a tower. "So, I'm humanoid, and I have pointed ears. I have long, white hair, goldish-yellow eyes with dark circles underneath, and pale skin. I'm wearing a red velvet cloak over my armor, which is pretty light, with the hood pulled over my head and covering most of my face. I also have a lot of tattoos on my arms and neck. Oh, and I'm pretty short, only around 5 feet." He cocked his head after finishing, glancing at Shuichi. "Your turn."

"Uh, yeah." Shuichi sat up a little straighter and folded his hands together in his lap. "I'm a tall, humanoid girl with tan skin and, like, bright purple eyes. My hair is half black and half white, and it's tied back in two braids. Um, I'm wearing this kind of witchy black Victorian style dress, tall platform boots, and a pentagram pendant. That's it for me."

"Excellent," said Tsumugi with a nod of acknowledgement. "You two are sitting together at the table, and after a few minutes of anxiously chatting between yourselves about the mission at hand, you see two other figures approach you. Miu and Kaede, that's your cue."

"Ooh, I'm so excited!" said Kaede, rubbing her hands together. "Okay. I'm a huge warforged. Basically, I'm a robot. I'm made out of this kind of gunmetal grey material that's connected to my body in plates, and in the space between the plates you can see my circuitry, which glows blue. I have short and choppy white synthetic hair, and eyes that glow blue like my circuitry. I'm not wearing any armor, because I'm a robot, but I am wearing a tabard that hangs from my waist with the symbol of my deity on it. Oh, and I use he and him pronouns."

When she saw that Kaede was finished, Miu cleared her throat and puffed out her chest. "Alright, so I'm a real fluffy tabaxi girl with pale tiffany blue fur and _huge_ tits. I'm wearing kind of an engineer's outfit, with big, red tinted goggles on. My armor is black, and the cloth has kind of a dark red and purple color scheme. I've got a backpack on and my trusty wrench with me."

"Alright. What do you do?" Tsumugi asked the table.

"I walk up to the other two with my companion," Miu declared. "Are you guys here for the Protectorate's deal?"

"Yeah," said Shuichi, trying his best to make himself sound confident. "Who are you guys?"

"I'm Safiya—" Miu paused to give Kaede a nudge; "—and this is my friend, Kiibo. Found him rusting away in a junk pile and managed to get him up and running again. And you are?"

"Yseult," said Shuichi, making sure his dice were organized to his liking.

Kokichi winked. "I'm Mandy. Wanna play a game, Saf?" He turned to Tsumugi. "I pull out my Dragonchess set. If you win, Saf, I'll give you a gold piece. But if I win... well, we'll just have to wait and see."

"Huh," said Miu. "Nah, I think I'll pass for now."

Kokichi giggled. "Your loss, sugar tits."

"Okay," Tsumugi said. "So, as you talk amongst yourselves for a little while, trying to get to know each other, you see two more creatures enter the tavern. You assume they're also a part of your adventuring party."

"I am a huge, beautiful centaur man," said Kaito. "I have long, flowing ginger hair, and _thick_ abs. I'm wearing a full suit of chest armor, except, like, my abs are showing just for the vibe. Also, I'm hot. I _cannot_ stress that enough. Oh, and the horse part of me is an appaloosa that is _just_ as sexy as the man part."

Maki spoke next. "I'm a tall firbolg woman with long, dark purple hair. I'm wearing a thick fur coat and I'm holding a glowing staff made of wood and pinecones."

"Hey, new friends!" said Miu. "I'm assuming you guys are here to work the same job that we are. I'm Safiya, and these are Kiibo, Yseult, and Mandy. What are your names?"

"My name," Kaito said, speaking in a ridiculously deep and suave voice, "is Hadriel."

"And I am Rowena."

"Well, the gang's all here!" Miu grinned, leaning forward with her arms folded over the table. "Nice to meet you all."

Tsumugi smiled. "Alright. Now that introductions are out of the way... well, you'll see. So, everyone, after introducing yourselves to each other and sitting together for a while, chatting up the bartender and what have you, you look up from your table as you hear the door to the tavern open. The number of creatures sitting at the table is the number of creatures you were told would make up your adventuring party, so you reason that whoever this is must be those coming to get you and give you your instructions so you can embark on your mission. You see four knights walking through the door, dressed in the regalia of the Protectorate. They calmly approach your table, standing at ease. _I assume you're the party that was organized,_ says who you take to be the leader, a human man in his fifties. Alright, so, before anything else, I'm going to have all of you make a perception check."

"First roll of the game," whispered Kaede with a smile.

_Let's hope I roll better this time_. Shuichi took a deep breath, then rolled his d20.

17\. Pretty good.

"Okay, who rolled above a 15?" asked Tsumugi.

"I did," Shuichi said. No one else responded.

"Okay, so, Yseult. You're looking these soldiers up and down, and you notice something peculiar. The signet ring with the symbol of Protectorate normally worn by its knights is absent from the leader and the rest of his group. Their hands are bare."

"Interesting. Can I make an insight check on the leader?"

"Go ahead."

"15?"

"Something definitely seems off."

Shuichi brought a hand to his chin, staring down at his character sheet as he mulled over what to do next. He flipped through the pages of abilities and characteristics before finally deciding, "I'm going to ready an action. If anyone tries to attack, I'm going to cast Eldritch Blast on them."

"Sounds good." Tsumugi nodded. 

"Okay, I'm gonna use my Awakened Mind ability to tell Mandy, _I think something is wrong. None of them have the signet rings that soldiers from the Protectorate should. You need to get ready_. And then I'm gonna turn to the leader and say, _You're a little late. We were worried about whether or not you would get here in time. Or if you would even get here at all. The town_ is _pretty close to the border, so it wouldn't be too implausible for you guys to get captured or killed. Oh, and what happened to your rings? You guys lose them, or something? Bandits?_ "

"I would also like to ready an action," Kokichi piped up. "If someone attacks, I wanna use my Two Weapon Fighting and hit them with my dagger and rapier."

"Okay, so the leader looks to you, Yseult, and says, _Hm, how perceptive of you. Too perceptive, even._ And then, he pulls out his huge ass greatsword and takes a swing at you." Tsumugi paused to roll her d20. "And he crit fails. Yseult, roll an attack for your Eldritch blast, and Mandy, roll your attacks."

"16," said Shuichi.

"That's a hit."

"Okay, he takes 8 points of damage."

"Not bad. Mandy?"

"A 15 for the rapier, and..." Kokichi trailed off, rolling his second attack. "...A 14 for the dagger?"

"Two hits."

"Okay, that's... 10 points of damage."

Tsumugi grinned. "Okay, so, in a rapid fire succession, Yseult shoots her Eldritch Blast at the leader of the group in a flash of bright purple energy, and Mandy stabs him with her rapier and dagger. Singed by the Eldritch Blast, Mandy finishes the leader off with her attacks, blood spraying out of his wounds as he falls to the ground, dead."

The whole table cheered, with Miu and Kaito the most enthusiastic.

Tsumugi leaned over to arrange everyone's miniatures on the game board; then, she sat back, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose.

"Everyone roll initiative."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IF YOU ARE CONFUSED ABOUT WHAT THE FUCK EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT:
> 
> tsumugi's campaign is all original content! you don't need to know anything about dnd to understand it, her explanations are enough
> 
> haunted one - a character background from the curse of strahd campaign: "You are haunted by something so terrible that you dare not speak of it. You’ve tried to bury it and run away from it, to no avail. Whatever this thing is that haunts you can’t be slain with a sword or banished with a spell. It might come to you as a shadow on the wall, a bloodcurdling nightmare, a memory that refuses to die, or a demonic whisper in the dark. The burden has taken its toll, isolating you from most people and making you question your sanity. You must find a way to overcome it before it destroys you."
> 
> kalashtar - a character race from the eberron campaign: "The kalashtar are a compound people created from the union of humanity and renegade spirits from the plane of dreams."
> 
> changeling - another race from eberron: "A changeling can shift its face and form with a thought as a form of artistic and emotional expression."
> 
> warlock - a character class. a spellcaster who gains their power by making a pact with a deity or powerful creature
> 
> warforged - race from eberron: "Warforged are made from wood and metal, but they can feel pain and emotion. Built as weapons, they must now find a purpose beyond war."
> 
> cleric - a character class. they are spellcasters, mainly healers, that derive their power through their devotion to a god
> 
> rogue - a character class. exactly what you think it is
> 
> d(number) - a die with that number of sides, i.e. "d20"
> 
> tabaxi - character race from volo's guide to monsters. literally just an anthropomorphic cat. a Furry
> 
> eldritch blast - a warlock cantrip (a cantrip is a spell you can use without using up any of your spell slots). ranged spell attack
> 
> kaito plays a paladin and maki plays a druid!


End file.
